It’s so white and so pure that you’re not sure if the snow is real or not. You don’t believe that there’s something that’s more pure and white than the snow and yet… you keep staring at him with curiosity, because you don’t understand why he’s so pure. So you kept staring, and he stares at you, asking with his eyes: what? And you don’t answer. You just stand up, with a serious expression on your face and leave. The older boy stares at you confused; somehow believing that maybe you are mad at him. He sighed. And you just walked away.

You walk out of the building, feeling the snow on you face. It’s so cold and so beautiful. You like the snow, which means that its winter… and winter means… Christmas. You smile. You can’t help but sing: Santa Claus is Coming to Town while you walk towards the park. And you’re still humming that song when you reach the park. There are kids everywhere playing with the snow. I want to play with them… you pout, staring at them with sad eyes. You’re old enough to understand were your place is. Kids play with kids and adults play with… no one. You don’t really feel like an adult, but you’re one. You’re 21 and you’re an adult right now. The law says so, so you can’t deny it. Now you feel like yelling at someone. But you won’t do it, because you’re an adult, and there are kids in front of you. And you must be an example for them.

Shit.

The afternoon passed like nothing. You were seated on a bench all the time, smiling at the little kids that one by one disappeared with their mothers. You called your mother, because you were feeling nostalgic. Do you remember when we used to play at the park when I was young? You asked her, a nostalgic smile placed on your lips. You love your mother like no one else loves his/her mother. You’re unique and you know that.

It’s late. You don’t realize that it’s already past 9pm, because you’re not interested in watching the hour. You’re still out, with the snow falling down like rain in summer. You know what kind of rain, that one that appears when you don’t expect it. You hate when that happens.

You only realize that it’s already past 9pm when someone appeared by your side with a can of hot chocolate. You stare at him curiously. You ask yourself again: Why is he so pure? Not to mention that he’s cute too.

-Want some? –he asked after a while. A nervous smile placed in his face.

-Eh? –you stare the can in front of you. –Ah… sure. Thanks.

A small smile is all you give. The older one feels the tension and wonder why everything is like this. He doesn’t understand why he’s here, with you. He doesn’t understand why he keeps wondering if you’re mad at him or not. What if he hates me? He thinks, starting to panic. You don’t pay attention to him or his worries. You’re more focused on: Why is he so pure like snow? While you stare the can of hot chocolate that now isn’t that hot as it used to be minutes ago. You close your eyes, thinking that you’re not supposed to wonder that or think on the “why?” Just keep being the way you are, you told to yourself, smiling.

That’s when you opened your eyes and realized that your hyung is still in front of you, freezing.

-Sungmin Hyung! You’re freezing! –you shout. You don’t really want to shout, but it’s your tone, you can’t help it.

He’s surprised because of that. It was so sudden that he didn’t expect you to scream like that.

-No… not really. –he tried to smile. He failed without much effort. You just smiled at him with comprehension.

-There, there… -you said while you place your scarf around his neck. He’s blushing now, but you don’t think that it’s because of you. It’s the snow, you think, trying to convince yourself about that.

-Thanks… -just a mere whisper. He’s older than you, but you think that you’re more masculine than he. You just think that he’s supposed to be the cute one, sometimes a brat who makes fun of the others. You’re just like him, but you’re not that cuter and you don’t act the way he does all the time.

So you hugged him and you don’t understand why you’re hugging him.

-Donghae? –asked the older one. At that second you think that your name is really beautiful and melodious coming from his mouth.

You stayed like that, with him in your arms. He’s so pure, and you really want him to stay like that.

Your lips search for Sungmin’s lips.

You really want him to stay as pure as he is right now.

Your lips met Sungmin’s one.

You kissed him, under the snow, under the pure snow. It’s sweet and tastes like pumpkin cake, it’s so delicious but you can’t help but feel guilty even if Sungmin is answering the kiss.

He’s not pure anymore. You have taken that pureness away with that kiss.